Times of Frustration

There are days on this journey when I step on the scale and feel like Rocky Balboa in that iconic part of the film where he's standing on the steps in Philadelphia with his hands raised in the air poised for victory. Then there are days I want to curse the scale and throw it out the window.

I know that the scale is NOT the only measurement. The way my clothes fit, the way I feel, my food choices and the way I now live my life are all very important indicators of weigh-loss as well. The scale, however, for me, is the bottom line and I want to see it move in a downward direction...always!!

I hit a period of a couple weeks in the beginning of December where it just didn't move....I had reached 69 1/2 pounds and just kind of stayed there. Can I tell you how FRUSTRATING that is?? I wanted so badly to shout to the world that I had lost 70 pounds but would not allow myself to do so until the scale reflected that number.

In the past, I would deal with these frustrations in negative ways...usually ending up with me saying, "what does it matter?" and giving up. This time, I used it to take a look and see if there where any changes I needed to make....and there were. I realized that too much snacking even of good things is not necessarily a good thing. I still get a periodic case of the "munchies" just like anyone else and dealing with that is sometimes very hard.

Mentally I enter into times of rebellion. I don't act out on them but I have found myself a bit angry at the fact that I can't eat what I want when I want....almost like a spoiled child! Why me? Why do I have to deal with this? Why will I always have to watch what I eat?

If you have alot of weight to lose, chances are your weight-loss isn't just going to be about a physical healing. In fact, I think more of it has been in my mind than in my stomach. Just knowing that helps...a bit.

Since losing these 70 pounds I've realized that I've lost more than pound of fat. I've lost 70 pounds of other kinds of "weight" as well. Pockets of time like this show me that I'm not at the finish-line yet. I've got a ways to go. So stop your whining, Rebecca. Get up and go for a walk!!!!!